Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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