So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
