I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
