There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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