weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
