whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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