dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
