So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
