so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
