I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
