sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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