Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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