The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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