He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
