It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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