I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
a search helicopter?!
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
