Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Randomize
