Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
