his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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