problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize