Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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