Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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