So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
MIDGETS
????
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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