Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
