this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
