I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
