that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
