I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
