is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
