Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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