11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My breasts were aching with rage.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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