We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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