Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
