He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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