I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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