I wannas sexs uuuuu
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
