smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
