Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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