She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
