A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
