NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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