dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize