I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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