Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
