Define "chronic" masturbator.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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