i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Hello my rib-scented angel!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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