worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
