Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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