Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
