He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
The air taste purple.
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