i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
