Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize