If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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