She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
