: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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