People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
