I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
