I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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