I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There's always time for handjobs
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
