oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
