girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize