Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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