Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
