I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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