He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
